Imagine you went online in search of a relationship. Before you start sending multiple messages on the dating app, ask yourself what your goal is for finding a true long-term partner or a FWB connection. You’re only human, after all, and hoping for intimacy with a male or female (or someone of a different gender), which you want to be built on mutual attraction and trust. In the online messaging stage, you and a potential match will share the preliminaries, such as your wants and needs and some aspects of your personal lifestyle. You still want to maintain your privacy even if you’re offering your place for an adult encounter and keeping your options open. Many things can happen when you meet face to face that change the chemistry both of you felt when chatting online. For example, you might first feel an emotional connection to a newbie, but later the physical attraction is missing, and you become platonic friends.
At any moment, something you say or something she says can cause a disconnect, which makes a physical relationship less likely. So, the best advice is not to share every detail about your life, but be honest, so someone can make an informed decision about whether to sleep with you.
Who should be more forward in terms of sexual intimacy is every man’s dilemma because making the first move on a guy too soon scares the good girls off. Here’s what you do:
Be a good listener.
Pay attention to physical and verbal signals that she has a sexual interest.
Move at her pace.
If she responds negatively to a casual touch such as brushing her arm or squeezing her shoulder, back off.
Wait for a private moment when she won’t feel pressured or embarrassed.
If she doesn’t kiss you back, relax. It’s not anything that’s wrong with you. She might need more time to enter a physical relationship or feel consumed with her own fears.
If you’re wondering when to make the first move, first you need to relax. A woman (or man) will send subtle or overt signals that you’re getting closer. For example, you might hear a slow song or a faster club beat come on the radio at the restaurant or party where you’re hanging out, and she sidles up close to you, starts rubbing your hand, or wants to slow dance. Pay attention to her body language. She might brush against you here and there, touch her hair, hug you, or talk softly in ways that turn you on. She might say something dirty or kinky. Although you don’t want to get overly aroused, prepare to follow up with initiating sex at the end of the night. How to make the first move means waiting for alone time, and she can accept or postpone the invitation for sex without embarrassment. The first time you sleep together must feel like it’s not rushed. If she’s too tired, just drank too much, or got up early for her kids, she might ask for a raincheck.
On the other hand, sometimes, women think so much about how much they like you that they decide to throw caution to the wind and start to think how does a girl make the first move. They know when guys are attracted to them and that guys will usually be open to sex. Sometimes, guys are not feeling horny for their own reasons, but they want to please their female mates. They don’t like the uncertainty that goes with being in the friend zone, and they might be terrified of rejection, but moving forward to the sex part gets it over with. You’re either going to like what they offer in that department or move on.
Therefore, single guys might agree to sleep with you earlier than expected or on a day that isn’t ideal. They are afraid that, if they don’t accept your invitation the first time, they will miss their chance. Men don’t like rejection either.
Making the first move on a guy is similar. You can introduce a comment into the conversation about how you’re feeling horny or that you want a backrub. Maybe you show him your new pedicure or ask him to smell your body lotion. These are subtle hints you want him to get physically intimate, even if it’s not sex. Then, you can move into kissing and touching each other as the date progresses and see if he gets revved up by the tension. A man can respond positively in these stages of foreplay, but there’s a possibility that, even if you understand how does a girl makes the first move, he will put on the brakes later in the date. He might say something like, “I really want to do this tonight, but I have an evening planned for us. Let’s continue this at my place on Friday night. We can order whatever food you like.”
There’s one problem with that. Making the first move on a guy places a girl in a difficult situation. On the one hand, you want him to feel comfortable with you and excited about potential intimacy. On the other hand, you don’t want to scare him off, letting him think that you initiate sex with every guy you like. Some men are turned on by dominant women, and they get more confidence when they sense your aggression. This behavior encourages them to take over with initiating sex because they receive a clear signal that you’re interested. Men feel more confident when women stop playing games, let their guard down, and become vulnerable.
How to make the first move on a girl if you’re a lesbian is similar. One person in the potential pairing up will be more dominant, but, at times, women can be dominant or submissive based on how they feel. Two people have to find their own dynamic, and you can’t predict the chemistry until you’re in the moment. At that point, there’s no going back as far as risking rejection once the invitation occurs.
Should a girl make the first move isn’t a concern unless you’re holding out for marriage. We live in an equal society. You can’t sit around your whole life waiting for a man to make all the moves and court you. He might switch his focus to a girl who gets a little freaky because then the relationship evolves into something deeper and meets his needs without all the drama or self-control. He wants to find a female who accepts him and loves intimacy, not to waste time and money on an ice queen.
How to make the first move on a girl depends on how confident you feel. For example, if you know that she’s dating other people, you might prefer to wait until she can focus on you. If she is your personal friend, you might not want to risk changing this positive bond with sex. There is always the option to approach the subject of sex like adults and ask her if it is something she has thought about doing with you. She might be honest and reply that she doesn’t think of you that way, or she wants to spend more time with you and consider it in the future.
In the end, you can never get to the sex part if you don’t take a risk. Decide if you will send a few signals and let her do the rest or make a move and see how she responds.
